((DREAM))
I woke up inside a version of myself
I don’t remember choosing.
Everything felt waterlogged—
The ceiling, my thoughts,
The place in my chest
Where feeling used to live
Without trembling.
I keep trying to stand still,
But the floor shifts
Like it’s tired of holding me up.
Maybe it is.
Maybe I am.
There’s a ringing in my head
That might be guilt,
Might be memory,
Might be the sound of every moment
I should’ve said something softer
And didn’t.
Some days I feel like a room
That’s been emptied too quickly—
Indentations on the carpet,
A nail left in the wall,
A single sock in the corner
No one claims.
Proof that someone lived here
And then decided not to.
I tell myself I’m fine—
That lonely isn’t fatal,
That silence won’t swallow me whole.
But the truth is
I’m afraid of the version of me
That shows up
When no one else does.
It’s strange, how the smallest thoughts
Can drag like anchors—
How the memory of your voice
Stretches out
Until it touches everything,
Even the parts of me
I thought were numb.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
A sign.
A pulse.
A reason to trust mornings again.
But for now I drift,
Half-asleep
Inside this soft collapse,
Hoping that if I stay still enough,
The world will stop shaking
And let me breathe
Without breaking.
Thank you so much for reading <3
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xoxo, madlizze
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"I’m afraid of the version of me
That shows up
When no one else does."- madlizze
That is beautiful and I completely identify with this feeling. Honestly, I didnt know it was as common as it is until understanding treatment of CPTSD through psychotherapy. Do you often feel like you are being shamed? Honest question. If you dont want to answer that, just ignore and I will understand. Beautiful poetry.
absolutely incredible ❤️🩹❤️🩹